I am weak. I am proud. I am boastful. Here, I have nothing to offer. I am dependent. I am needy. I can’t rely on any of my own skills or talents. I can’t speak the language. I can’t drive. I can’t sew or cook or perform a normal function in my own house without asking 10 questions. I have nothing. He has brought me to a place where I need Him more than I’ve ever needed Him. I need the prayers of the saints and encouragement from brothers and sisters in Christ more than ever. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of how much I’m being humbled. I try to mask the fear with false confidence. I try to act like I have it all together- but I don’t. It’s like one ugly mask on top of another ugly beast. The blind leads the blind inside of my heart.
“Son of David, don’t pass me by. ‘Cause I am naked, I’m poor, and I’m blind.”
If I truly lay down my life, these are the times when His power is displayed in the most magnificent and mighty ways. I have nothing. I have nothing but the God of the Universe. The Holy God of Israel is my Father, and His Spirit lives inside of me. I have more than enough. When I am weak, I am strong. I have nothing to offer, except HIS love and HIS power that conquered the grave. I. lack. no. thing.
Father, have mercy on me. I lay down my life before your throne. I need You. Give me the strength to die every day, so that I can truly live.